Everybody Loves A Good Joke

Everyone loves a good joke. These are a few of my favorites.

A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country.

A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense.

A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work.

A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.

A bird in the hand is always safer than one overhead.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

A boss with no humor is like a job that is no fun.

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

A day without sunshine is like night.

A disagreeable task is its own reward.

A donkey is a horse designed by a study team.

A fail-safe circuit will destroy others.

A flying particle will seek the nearest eye.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

A fool and his money stabilize the economy.

A free agent is anything but.

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

A geophysicist is not drunk as long as he can hang onto a single blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth.

Be sure to check out some of Union Eight's funny t-shirts!

People Like You T-Shirt by ruderetro
design your own t-shirt At www.Zazzle.com
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Yellow Warning Geek Zone by geek_gear
Many more tee shirt designs available on www.zazzle.com
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Keep The Fish T-Shirt by sagart1952
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Good Cowgirls by wolffie
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Totally Going in My Blog T-Shirt by ruderetro
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Maternity Start of Something Big by maternity
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Funny Gone Postal T-shirts Gifts by sagart1952
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Gardeners Get Down And Dirty by wolffie
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St. Patty's Day T-shirts And Gifts

Saint Patrick is believed to have been born in the late fourth century, and is often confused with Palladius, a bishop who was sent by Pope Celestine in 431 to be the first bishop to the Irish believers in Christ.

Today I am Irish by st_paddys

Saint Patrick was the patron saint and national apostle of Ireland who is credited with bringing christianity to Ireland. Most of what is known about him comes from his two works, the Confessio, a spiritual autobiography, and his Epistola, a denunciation of British mistreatment of Irish christians. Saint Patrick described himself as a "most humble-minded man, pouring forth a continuous paean of thanks to his Maker for having chosen him as the instrument whereby multitudes who had worshipped idols and unclean things had become the people of God."

Kiss Me I'm Irish Hat by CowPieCreek

Saint Patrick is most known for driving the snakes from Ireland. It is true there are no snakes in Ireland, but there probably never have been - the island was separated from the rest of the continent at the end of the Ice Age. As in many old pagan religions, serpent symbols were common and often worshipped. Driving the snakes from Ireland was probably symbolic of putting an end to that pagan practice. While not the first to bring christianity to Ireland, it is Patrick who is said to have encountered the Druids at Tara and abolished their pagan rites. The story holds that he converted the warrior chiefs and princes, baptizing them and thousands of their subjects in the "Holy Wells" that still bear this name.

When This Irish Mom Ain't Happy T-shirt by stpatricksdaytshirts

There are several accounts of Saint Patrick's death. One says that Patrick died at Saul, Downpatrick, Ireland, on March 17, 460 A.D. His jawbone was preserved in a silver shrine and was often requested in times of childbirth, epileptic fits, and as a preservative against the "evil eye." Another account says that St. Patrick ended his days at Glastonbury, England and was buried there. The Chapel of St. Patrick still exists as part of Glastonbury Abbey. Today, many Catholic places of worship all around the world are named after St. Patrick, including cathedrals in New York and Dublin city.

Green Irish Beer Tie by stpatricksdaytshirts

Why Saint Patrick's Day?
Saint Patrick's Day has come to be associated with everything Irish: anything green and gold, shamrocks and luck. Most importantly, to those who celebrate its intended meaning, St. Patrick's Day is a traditional day for spiritual renewal and offering prayers for missionaries worldwide.

Not Irish Kiss Me Anyway T-shirt by st_paddys

So, why is it celebrated on March 17th? One theory is that that is the day that St. Patrick died. Since the holiday began in Ireland, it is believed that as the Irish spread out around the world, they took with them their history and celebrations. The biggest observance of all is, of course, in Ireland. With the exception of restaurants and pubs, almost all businesses close on March 17th. Being a religious holiday as well, many Irish attend mass, where March 17th is the traditional day for offering prayers for missionaries worldwide before the serious celebrating begins.

Kiss Me I'm Irish Frog T-Shirt by CowPieCreek

In American cities with a large Irish population, St. Patrick's Day is a very big deal. Big cities and small towns alike celebrate with parades, "wearing of the green," music and songs, Irish food and drink, and activities for kids such as crafts, coloring and games. Some communities even go so far as to dye rivers or streams green!
Info Provided By: St. Patrick's Day